This is a risk. I want to talk about what is happening in our country right now and I am at risk of saying something stupid, insensitive, wrong. But I would so much rather take that risk and learn from my mistakes than be silent.
Ahmaud Arbery, George Floyd, Breonna Taylor…these are just the names from the last few weeks. They are not the same story. All had different lives, different deaths, different stories. But all point to a sickness, a rot, deep in the system, that must be addressed.
We can be quick to get defensive when someone wants to talk to us about privilege. It feels like any acknowledgement of privilege is a claim that we didn’t have to work hard for where we got. That somehow we had it easy. The problem is, when we deny the existence of something, we lose control over it. If we have decided to pretend it’s not happening, look the other way, it can’t be addressed.
Because of this, it is VITAL that we be willing to take some time to look at, be aware, of our privilege. I’ll tell you a little about mine to get us started.
When I go into a store, I am never viewed suspiciously. I can walk to the bandaid aisle and pick some out that match my skin tone and aren’t noticeable. If I get pulled over for speeding, I’m not concerned this interaction could escalate and get away from me. I will teach my son to be kind and respectful, but I don’t have to worry that his life depends on his ability to do so. Honestly, as I start this list, I get overwhelmed. These privileges relate to my gender, my skin tone and they barely scrape the surface. We haven’t even touched on socioeconomic privilege. There are few groups of people with more privilege than I have as a middle class, white, American woman. If I can be aware of it, acknowledge it, then I can keep it in check. Then I can find ways to empower others. But here’s an important piece, I want to always be learning. I don’t want to hold the belief that I’m “woke” or “evolved” and know all about my privilege. I want to be able to recognize, with humility, that I have blind spots. We all do.
The other thing that is vitally important that we take a look at is our bias. Brace yourself, because this might be uncomfortable. We all have biases. And just like privilege, the more aware of them we can be, the more likely we are to keep them in check. Saying that we don’t see color is a denial of these biases and much more likely to lead us into hurting people, being reactive, or maintaining a broken system.
Have you ever been sitting in your car and seen someone walking up the sidewalk and reached over to punch the lock button? That was not the wrong thing to do. I’m not here to critique attempts at being safe. But, it could be evidence of bias. Something about that person led to you feeling uncomfortable, unsafe. Maybe it was their gender, maybe it was their skin color, maybe it was something in their demeanor. Maybe it was something in you. Locking the door is fine, but let’s also take a second and notice what’s happening. What prompted that action? Having bias doesn’t make you the bad guy here, it’s just so important to be aware of it. That is what allows you to keep it in check.
Imagine later you see this same person being harassed by a store owner. Ignoring your bias from earlier, might lead you to assume that it’s justified. It might lead you to be silent. Being aware of your own bias, however, might lead you to being aware of the potential bias of others. Maybe you could ask some questions, seek to understand the situation and what’s happening.
Being aware of your privilege and bias, really looking at it, is a way to begin to make things shift. You can keep these things in check in yourself and challenge them in others.
One of the hardest things about this week was feeling helpless. I have dear friends who are people of color and I’m grieving with them and angry on their behalf. I do not believe that riots are the solution, but I do understand the sentiment. And I believe that Jesus flipping tables in the temple might get it, too.
