Do you know why women shave their legs? Because in the early 20’s, an ad agency for a razor company started targeting women. They convinced them that, with rising hem lines, smooth legs were more attractive. And here we are a century later, our entire culture changed by a brainstorming meeting at some ad agency trying to figure out how to sell more razors.
Culture is so prevalent that we spend most of our lives unaware of it. The only time we notice culture, for the most part, is when someone else’s culture is different than ours. But even then, it’s their culture we’re aware of, not our own. Our culture is the accepted standard, the norm. They have accents. They have strange traditions.
There is so much beauty to be found in culture. It’s part of our heritage. It determines so much about how we do family and mark time and see the world. The ways we are different are amazing!
It can, however, become problematic. So much of our culture is shaped by media. The problem with this, is that media has an agenda. They are trying to sell a product. In order for them to sell their product, we must feel like we need it. And so, women’s bodies are often the target. This hasn’t changed since 1920. But our idea of beauty certainly has.
If you’ve ever been to an art museum that includes paintings across the centuries, you’ll see that what is considered beautiful has shifted over time. Even in my lifetime, what’s considered beautiful has shifted. Even if we just look at eyebrows over the last decade, what’s considered beautiful has shifted. But has beauty changed? No, our culture has.
Hank and John Green have a YouTube channel called “Vlog Brothers.” They send videos back and forth to one another on various topics. One of my favorite ones is this one. In it, Hanks discusses what is considered beautiful in different cultures. He demonstrates that our concept of beauty is influenced by our culture. And in our culture, we look to media to tell us what is beautiful.
There are a number of issues with this. Most of us have been in a store dressing room, trying on clothes, and the salesperson tells us how gorgeous we look. I don’t know about you, but my initial thought is: does she get commission? Because if she does, I’m not sure I trust her opinion. How can I trust that she’ll be honest with me if I know she will benefit if I buy the clothes.
And yet, we allow magazine covers, Instagram influencers, etc. to tell us what is and isn’t beautiful. And the diet culture is the scariest! Because those ladies on the cover don’t even have the body being sold to you as the standard. So much of it is photoshopped, filtered and retouched. And yet, that is what we are presented with as beauty. And then we’re all talking about our bodies as a disappointment. We need to lose here and gain there. Our eyebrows are too thick or thin. All of these standards being set by someone who benefits when we buy into them.
We’re beginning to see a shift. There are great companies out there who are using photos of real people without editing their bodies. Dove, Fabletics and Aerie, just to name a few. Demi Lovato recently shared a photo of her body without a filter that showed that real, beautiful women have cellulite sometimes. When we’re convinced that we must lose weight to be beautiful, who profits? When stretch marks and cellullite are stripped away from every picture in magazines and social media, who benefits? These now feel like problems to be addressed and there are plenty of people looking to sell us a product to address it.
Jameela Jamil, also known as Tahani on The Good Place, is one of the most vocal people on this topic. After seeing an ad of famous women with their measurements posted alongside them, she started the iWeigh campaign on Instagram. Users can submit photos of themselves with the things they choose to measure themselves by (aspects of their personality, personal accomplishments, etc.) She now refuses to allow any touch ups to her published photographs. She advocates for body acceptance and using real people, of all shapes and sizes, in advertising.
Often when we look in the mirror, we zoom in on the areas we’re not happy with. When we do that, we lose context. Have you ever seen those microscopic pictures of things like salt and pepper, a vinyl record, or refined and raw sugar? Without context, these things are unrecognizable. But when we “zoom out” and see the full picture, what we find is that they make sense again. The same goes for our bodies. When we can take a step back and look at the full picture, instead of zooming in on what we see as our “problem areas”, we often find that we can be much kinder to ourselves.
I know it may sound cheesy, but I actually believe that everyone displays beauty. And I mean actual physical beauty, not just internal beauty. But that’s there, too! And it’s part of the story. Have you ever met someone that you thought, from a distance, was super attractive, then as you talked with them and they were unkind, critical, etc., they became less attractive to you? Well, it works the other way, too!
Watch people when they’re doing the thing they’re passionate about. Watch them when they’re being vulnerable. Watch them when they’re playing with their kid or laughing with their spouse. If you can get outside yourself a little bit, try to drop the lens of our culture and it’s ideas on beauty, and really look at a person, I think you’ll be surprised to find beauty everywhere. Because, while our culture will continue to shift and change over time and advertisers will continue to try to shape our view of what is beautiful, we can choose to see beyond that.
